No less bizarrely, but rather sweetly, we were befriended by a Chinese man with his wife and son. When he realised that we were English speakers, he asked if he could "make a friend with you?". We said yes, and while he went off to find a pen to take down our details, his wife went in search of beverages. He returned with a bic and scrap of paper, she with a variety of cold, flavoured teas. In "exchange" for our email address we received 2 bottles of iced tea. A small, inqusitive crowd had gathered around us, with mutterings of "England" when a new member joined. We felt like Z list celebrities. Meanwhile our new friends tried to coax out a telephone number and we had difficulty explaining that we didn't have one as we were travelling. Another bottle was foisted upon us (this time a flavoured milk), but we wouldn't budge. So, we shook hands goodbye and whilst they went to enjoy a meal, we went to drink their hospitality and watch the rest of the opening ceremony in the comfort of our hotel room.

Pagoda in Guilin

Olympic Opening Ceremony, Guilin remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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On the whole, Chinese people are small, so it was a shame that the tour company couldn't even find a bus big enough to transport us all in comfort to the boat terminal; several people had to stand. We ran into further difficulty when we were dumped off the bus and ushered into a large jewellery store, with obviously no English explanation. Reassuringly however, a number of westerners in other tour groups looked as bewildered as the Brunton's at this unexpected detour. After three quarter's of an hour of desperately trying to keep track of our tour guide (and failing) we were issued with boat tickets and herded along with thousands of others towards the boat launch. What a spectacle 50 flat bottomed boats full of tourists setting off convoy style makes. What a din a small Chinese tour guide with a microphone makes. And we'll tell you something that we don't understand....Chinese, which is why we escaped to the open viewing deck as soon as possible.

The low, misty clouds blanketing the karst peaks could have imbued a serene moodiness were it not for the constant clicking of cameras, elbows in ribs, cigarette smoke and clearing of throats accompanied by the inevitable gob on the floor. It just left us moody. Still, Lisa does have an irrational phobia of sputum, besides, the Brunton's were just put out that they were largely ignored by the other 98 passengers, who edged them out of their photo's instead of into them. And the views were really fabulous during the 4 hour journey. Along the way we spotted water buffaloes grazing in the shallow banks and lots of locals going about their business in their rowing boats on the river.

If mass tourism appeals we would suggest the boat ride. If you'd prefer to "be at one with nature" then we'd suggest you make your way to Yangshou (where the cruise ends) by bus and hire one of the many bamboo boats that tout for business at the water's edge, to take a ninety minute cruise on the Li. Apparently this still incorporates the best of the scenery, is cheaper, and ensures you wouldn't have to endure the Brunton's annoying habits.

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The Madness of Guangzhou Train Station remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Macau apartment blocks

One of the oldest casino's in Macau (that Lisab was barred from entering)

Closest Lisa got to entering casino Lisboa

The new casino Lisboa dominates Macau's skyline everywhere you go

They've gone Olympic crazy, even in Macau

The Fortaleza do Monte

We had enjoyed a spacious double bed roomed hotel in Macau and so were stunned to be faced with the smallest hotel room in the world when we reached Hong Kong (this was officiated by a Guinness Book of Records adjudicator). Although not ones to complain, we did have to refuse the first room offered. It held a single bed that they laughingly tried to pass off as a double. Our digs were located in the ironically named Chungking Mansions - which is a huge concrete block housing guesthouses for the poor and down market shops & restaurants. It's bang in the centre of Kowloon on Nathan Road - the main shopping centre in Hong Kong. Andyb wasn't at all tired of the constant touting for business from the local salesmen offering "a suit sir, for you sir, good sir, half price sir" or "a rolex sir". It was a joy to have them join us for a half a mile walk down the street as they attempted to change his mind from his original and sustained answer of "NO".

Our Palace

The most attractive part of Hong Kong is the amazing sky line view at the Harbour front. As daylight descends into darkness, the skyscrapers light up like christmas trees. There's even a "light spectacular" conducted every evening at 8pm. Much like the warning before entering onto a rollercoaster though, we wouldn't recommend it for the faint hearted, bad backed, pregnant, young or infirm amongst you. This is due to the thousands of people who jostle, kick and punch their way to the front for the best vista. Better wait until 8:15pm when the crowds disperse, because the lit buildings are just as impressive without the laser, light & music show.

Hong Kong harbour at dusk

On a relatively clear day we trekked up the Peak (only jossing - the temperature was 31 degrees celsius with a humidity of 99% - we took the tram) to take a look at Hong Kong from above. Again this was an impressive sight, and allows you to grasp just how built up Hong Kong has become. Land is still being reclaimed from the sea; there continues to be new buildings and extensions to existing buildings going up all the time.

Land reclaimation

The view from the peak

Shortly after this photo, Bruce Lee was on his back side, and Brad Pitt ran crying in terror. It took 10 men to escort The B-Meister from the building.

Andyb lost his toyboy title, as his 36th birthday brought him to the same age as his wife (for the next three months). Lisab scoured the Rough Guide's "free things" section to celebrate (happy bloody birthday) and came up with a visit to the Flagstaff House Museum of Tea Ware, in Hong Kong Park. It's an informative, if sometimes repetitive, museum and gives a thorough insight into China's tea trade. He did get to taste China's finest in the Lock Cha Teahouse next door though. This was a great experience. Whilst Lisab enjoyed a white peony tea, Andyb opted for a (very expensive - well it was his birthday) green tea that was served in a doll's tea pot. They made a real ceremony of brewing it each time. The Brunton's were well impressed and have declared tea as their new hobby, so all are welcome at 244 for a thimble full of cha upon our return. The day was rounded off with a fancy meal, and whilst Andrew enjoyed a Black Sheep beer (his first in 8 months), observers could have mistook it for Lisab's special day, as she ordered apple martini AND had a baked alaska for pudding.

We decided to join thousands of Chinese tourists and headed to Ocean Park for the day. We arrived early and had the rollercoaster to ourselves for the first two goes. We even got to sit in the front car; very thrilling for the Brunton's as it was our first time. As the day got later, the crowds got larger, the temperature hotter and the atmosphere more humid. We could have coped with one variable, but not all of them together. So, after the panda viewing (which meant queueing for 30 minutes and shuffling past them for 3) we gave up and boarded the bus back. This wasn't before we'd witnessed the tourists ooing and awwing at the dolphins and sea lions flapping their fins and flippers in the marine show, and not before we'd fried in the hot seats (that only mad dogs and Englishmen occupied) watching the un-natural event.

After 5 days in the city, we felt like we'd seen enough, besides even the salesmen got bored of asking Andyb if he wanted "a suit sir" and were only going through the motions. It was an obvious wrench to leave the fire hazard that was Chungking Mansions, with the windowless, three quarter bedded, freezing cold or boiling hot (depending on whether the aircon was switched on or off) room that we had called home.

Hong Kong & Macau remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Typical decor on Luang Prabang's numerous Wats.

Leaning Buddha in Luang Prabang

The first day was taken up by driving a gruelling 7 hours on winding, vomit inducing mountainous terrain. Although the Brunton's don't really get car sick, we felt decidedly queasy by early evening. We should have skipped tea, not because we felt sick, but because the cuisine in Phonsavan resembled sick. And the following day it made our Norweigian friends actually sick (and gave Lisab a dodgy tummy).

The following day was taken up by a tour of the Plain of Jars sites. They are set amongst beautiful scenery of rolling green hills and farmed fields. Since French archaeological research in the 1930's, the jars (which are sometimes higher than Lisab) are believed to have been produced around two and a half thousand years ago, for the use of funerary urns - as human remains and ashes have been found in some jars. However, the Laos people still like to believe that they were used to store Lao Lao (rice whiskey) or food stuffs. They appear a little elaborate to be used as ancient tupperware though.

A large number of the jars were bomb damaged during the 2nd Indochina war (1964-1973) but they still amount to several hundred intact jars over numerous locations. Incidentally, this is a relatively new attraction for Laos, as the sites were only cleared of mines and UXO's in 2003 by the Mines Advisory Group (MAG). We saw these in action, clearing a field close by. There are a few warnings to stick to the paths, and Andyb was bursting to sneak behind a bush for a pee, but couldn't for fear of losing a leg. Eventually, the Plain of jars sites are aiming for UNESCO world heritage status, but it is clear that a lot of work needs to be done to improve access and increase research regarding the significance of the jars. Little work appears to have been done since the initial French investigations.

The Brunton's at the jars

Mine clearance

Talking of the 2nd Indochina war, The Rough Guide tells us that Laos was the most heavily bombed country (per capita) in the history of warfare. Apparently, our friends the Yanks flew 580,944 "sorties" (missions), and dumped a total of 2,093,100 tonnes of bombs on Laos. This is equivalent to one plane load of bombs every eight minutes, 24 hours a day, for 9 years being dropped on the locals. Little wonder that the National Museum in Vientiene gives a totally unobjective account of the American involvement in the war.

You can still see the bomb craters pocketing the landscape today

Russian tank. The locals had taken the top off to use as part of a fence

Bomb damaged temple in the old capital of the Xiang Khouang province

Damaged buddha

The final day of the tour was another arduous winding journey through the beautiful Laos landscape, stopping only briefly to observe the landslides and collapsed roads caused by the heavy rains that had fallen on Laos recently. We were told that the road was completely blocked the day before, and probably still would be but for the several JCB's we passed on our way. We saw lots of over - flooded rice fields, as the river had burst it's banks, resulting in more ducks than workers in the fields.

Balcony view from our hotel in Vang Vieng. The river had flooded several bungalows and bars

We had one day in Vientiene and went to see the concrete monstrosity of the Victory Monument. Apparently it's Laos's answer to the Arc de Triomphe.

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The passports arrived and we made our way to the boat. It's a wonder of physics that it hadn't sank under the weight of people and bags already packed into it. And people were STILL trying to board. As we're not sick of living we didn't step a foot inside, but along with 26 others decided to get into the next boat along, reasoning that if they'd sold so many tickets they would have to sail 2 boats that day. WRONG - the Laos boat operators (who appear to have missed their annual health & safety update for this year) expected over 100 people to get into the one boat. After much confusion the Laos learnt an important lesson - don't mess with the Brunton's. It was all terribly exciting as we took part in our first "sit in", until they finally agreed to sail two boats - our victory came at a cost however, as we each had to pay an extra 280 bhat. We also need to admit that we literally sat on our bottoms whilst a great young Englishman (university educated) did all the negotiating for us.

The overcrowded boat

Life inside our boat

And so we set sail. Us, in our spacious long boat, the other 80 in their much narrower, packed in like sardines, over crowded boat - the irony! It was a lovely, hot and sunny day and we were travelling in style. Reading a book, moving around the boat, sitting on an open window ledge to look out onto the Mekong, stretching out on the floor to take a nap. Andyb also gave up his cushion to the wife (hence his sore bum, though Lisa's is peachy).

We were the first to dock in Pakbeng and later heard that the other boat had made several stops to pick up extra passengers along the way. This is the halfway stop - with rudimentary accommodation - where they placed a cockroach instead of a chocolate on our pillow and the leccy went off at 10:30pm. Still, we met a fun American named Faith, who swapped a Donna Tartt for a Bill Bryson (which made the next day on the boat go by very quickly for Lisab, though left Andyb wandering the boat with no one to talk to).

View from our guest house in Pakbeng. Whilst we were sat enjoying a beer, we spotted a man high in the tree (no safety net), chopping off the leaves and branches of the trees in the foreground. We don't think this was just for our benefit, to make our beer taste better, but the guest house boasted a "room with a river view".

The next morning started off swimmingly. Our crew were waiting at the dock for us, directing us to a new (smaller) boat for our next day's trip. They fiercly guarded entry to the boat - if your name wasn't down, you weren't coming in - as several passengers from the sardine can tried to sneak on board. Then more confusion; we would have to change back to yesterday's boat for some (unexplained) reason. So, after playing musical boats for a while, we set sail again.

The second day's sail was just as lovely as the first and made more interesting when they stopped to pick up the locals. This included a young boy with a suspected leg fracture who was going to hospital. We had a whip round for his expenses and everyone had a good gawp (as you do). Travelling along the Mekong was a great experience - made all the more memorable because of the 1st day's dramatics. The water level is quite high as it's rainy season & it's mesmerising to watch the currents swirl in different directions. Although perhaps not the usual way to sail down the Mekong in our under capacity boat, we had a lovely, relaxing time and pitied the fools on the other one who would have been lucky to glimpse the Mekong in their packed out vessel.

River Mekong scenery

Developing a sore bum along the Mekong remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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The view of the Golden Triangle (see map above for explanation). This reminded us of when we went to the "Tres Frontiers" - where Argentina, Brasil and Paraguay meet (happy days!)

The town also houses the Hall of Opium. This isn't where you can sit around smoking in an opium den, but an informative museum on the history and cultivation of the poppy. Opium growing has been illegal in Thailand since the late 1950's, and the area became renowned for it's illicit production of opium in the 1960's and 1970's. It gained it's name as "The Golden Triangle" because opium was known as "black gold". Thailand seem to have halted the illegal growing and production of opium in recent years, with production of opium now centred across the border in Burma. Instead, the Thai Government have encouraged and subsidised farmers to grow other crops, such as coffee, tea and cabbages(!) in it's place.

For the production of opium, poppies are grown (purple one's giving the best concentration of opium) until the petals drop off, and the bud dries. The farmer then delicately scores the bud each day with a knife to release the sap. This is generally done at the hottest part of the day to collect the optimum amount of sap. This process continues from the same bud over a few weeks. The sap is then dried into pellets and sold on for production of morphine, heroin etc. Although we seem to have given a guide to "grow your own opium" we wouldn't recommend this as a new hobby - it's too cold and miserable for poppies to flourish in Rossendale (though we know what some of you are like, so we won't give the chemical process of how to turn opium into heroin).

We then took a scenic drive, following the Mekong, until we arrived in Chiang Khong. After a farewell meal (at a VERY nice restaurant that we don't know the name of, but it gave lovely views of the Mekong) we waited in anticipation for our slow boat down the river the next day, with just the two of us again for company.

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The day started by travelling to the market to help load fruit onto the truck for the elephants' lunch. It costs 500 bhat (8 pounds) per basket of fruit; each elephant eats a basket of fruit per day. Once at the park, the day was a mix of education and interaction with the elephants - getting to feed them and helping to bathe them twice.

Peckish elephants coming to eat lunch

The elephant we fed ate bananas and watermelons. Others were fed various other fruits (though the young ones didn't seem to like cucumber that much)

Bathing time

We spent all this time scrubbing them clean...

...and then they got out of the water, and covered themselves in mud! (this is to protect themselves from the sun, so it's only like us lathering ourselves in piz buin after a shower).

This young elephant wasn't at all sure about kissing Andyb. Lisab said he was thinking "ugh, but he's a BOY, I only want to kiss girls".

We heard some harrowing tales of how the elephants had suffered. Jokia is a 50 year old elephant who was blinded in both eyes by her mahout. This happened after Jokia was sold to illegal loggers (after the logging ban of 1989 in Thailand meant that her Karen tribe owners couldn’t afford to keep her). Jokia was forced to continue working even when pregnant and actually gave birth to her baby whilst pulling a log uphill. Unfortunately the baby tumbled down the hill and by the time they went back to see it, the baby had died. Distraught with grief, Jokia would not work. Her mahout physically abused her, trying to beat her into submission. Eventually, he blinded her in both eyes, after she stubbornly refused to give in. She was rescued by Lek in 1999. Her story has a sort of happy ending, in that when she arrived at the park, Mae Perm (a female elephant in her 40's) “adopted” Jokia, and they are now inseparable. Apparently, when Jokia wants to move to a new spot, she puts her trunk on Mae Perm, and Mae Perm then guides Jokia around.

This is one of the two month old babies with her mum, going for a bath. She is on loan to the park (from an elephant trekking camp) to give her a better chance of survival - babies in elephant trekking camps have a low survival rate. Although her mum appears perfectly capable of raising her on her own, she has acquired 5 aunties. It is normal for the other female elephants to want to care for the babies. The park has had to separate mum and baby from most of the other elephants, to protect from all the other elephants crowding her (apparently, they all want the nanny job!)

Despite the logging ban, illegal logging still goes on, so the elephants' natural habitat continues to be lost; it is estimated that Thailand now has only 500 wild elephants left. Wild elephants are at least now protected with endangered animal status, but unfortunately domesticated elephants only have the same protection as live stock. This means, in effect, they have little rights, so when abuse is identified, law states that only minimal fines can be issued to their owners. As a consequence, there are around 2,000 domesticated elephants in Thailand leading a bleak existence in the tourist industry. Even if you don’t witness abuse of these elephants, whilst on your elephant trek or ride, Thai’s still practice the ancient tradition of phajaan or torture training. This is a ritual they subject domesticated elephants to at an early age, in order to break their spirit, so the animal eventually submits to it’s mahout. We were shown documentary footage of an elephant going though this awful ordeal and it made for uncomfortable viewing, to say the least. Lek has proven that through use of positive reinforcement (instead of cruel beatings) elephants respond to human command. It seems ironic that a country which reveres the elephant as a symbolic icon (practically every temple has elephant statues outside) can treat real life ones so cruelly.

If you are in Thailand, and thinking of visiting elephants, we would highly recommend a day here. Although it's more expensive than other elephant park trips (it cost 2500 bhat each for the day), you get to see elephants in their own habitat, and instead of "amusing" tourists with rides, circus tricks or painting shows (as some parks offer), you get a glimpse of how elephants behave naturally. Also, it is a not for profit organisation, so all the money spent, goes towards the elephants.

For the record, being kissed by a baby elephant is quite pleasant, although it does feel as if someone has suctioned a (wet) Dyson to your face for a second. Here is a video of Lisa receiving her peck:

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The next day was spent idling along the lanes of the village and through the rice fields, which are full of people, busy planting this year's crop. We called in to see Bua's daughter and son in law in their field and had to nick some of their water to quench our thirst. This time of year is supposed to be rainy season, though they haven't seen much yet and it was a sweltering hot day. Even the promise of the Bruntons arriving in the village hadn't encouraged this year's monsoons, and the villagers are quite anxious for them to arrive, as this year's rice crop depends on them.

Our arrival into Ban Kat Thi

Toy and Noy planting their rice crop.

The locals working the fields.

Bua & Stephen's garden is full of wildlife. They are often visited by lizards, chameleons, snakes, amongst others (including lots of things that bit us in the evening!) The pictures below show some stuff we've already encountered. We also saw a dying scorpion, but didn't think we should photo it on it's death bed.

Although these were in Bunsi's garden (Bua's sister)

Bua & Stephen have truely been hosts with the most, as they have ferried us around the sites of Northern Thailand. At the weekend, we went for a trip to Phayao and around to visit some temples and the lake. We were joined by Stephen & Bua's grandchildren. They were very well behaved, and Lisa didn't suffer from hives all day.

Kwan (Lake) Phayao

From left to right: Stephen, Bifern, Quan, Lisab, Bua, and Andyb

This was one of the temples that we visited. Lisa felt quite inferior (in size) at the towering Buddha. This is definitely the largest we've seen so far.

This is Bifern in the pond (at the back of their house) fishing for catfish and getting very mucky in the process.

One day was spent going to see Wat Rong Khun (or the white temple), situated to the south east of Chiang Rai. Chalermahai Kositpipat is the brains behind this unconventional buddhist temple and surrounding buildings. He has dedicated his life to the cause of constructing 9 buildings on the site. Building began in 1998. It is THE most beautiful temple; completely white and encrusted with small mirrors that glisten in the sunlight. Inside the temple is just as impressive. Chalermahai has painted enormous murals on the walls, in a contemporary, futuristic style (for example, one shows a picture of September 11th, one shows the Keanu Reeves' character in the Matrix). Some paintings depict the buddhist view of the 4 elements: earth (represented by the elephant), wind (the swan), water (the naga - a type of mythical serpent) and fire (the lion). The project has been funded through donations, but also through the sale of his paintings, which can be bought at the art gallery, within the complex. This was a real find, as we wouldn't have heard of it from any guide book (it only opened to the public a year ago).

Wat (Temple) Rong Khun

On the same day, we also visited the village of Ja Lae. This is where some of the Lahu Laba hilltribe live. They migrated into Thailand from Tibet in 1970. Others had migrated to Thailand as early as the 19th century. Within the village there is a small museum and cultural centre. The information at the centre explained that as the tribe move out of their traditional forest homes, into a more modern environment, their unique language and culture is increasingly under threat, just like other hilltribes in Thailand. Apparently, 5 years ago, they were "forced" to move to their present location (though it didn't say why they were forced). Before this, they grew, hunted or gathered all of their own food, needing to buy only their salt. However, due to the scarcity of land, they now need to purchase 80% of the food they eat. They acknowledge that moving into modern Thai society brings benefits such as healthcare and education (we also saw solar panels to provide electricity), but at a cost of weakening their traditional culture. They still hold onto their own religious beliefs; unlike Thai's who believe in buddhism, they believe in spirits and ancestors.

Traditional Lahu house

Since it was close by, we had a nosey at this waterfall.

Huaymaesai waterfall

Unfortunately, for the trip to the northern most point in Thailand, Bua had to stay at home (it was going to be a long day and she needed to be around for the kids after school), so Stephen took us by himself. Our first stop was to see the village of Mae Salong. This is a village in the mountains that is inhabited by Chinese one time refugees, who were fleeing the cultural revolution in 1949. We stopped for a tea and a walk around. In high season, it is packed out with both tourists and hilltribe members selling their wares, but we had the village to ourselves. The scenery is fantastic along the way, and we stopped at several lookout points to admire the view and took a few photo's.

Tea plantations around Mae Salong

Next stop was to the Mae Fa Luang gardens, situated high up in the mountains. These are gardens that were originally started by the Princess Mother (the King's mum). She has died now, but has left a lasting legacy that continues to grow and develop. Much had changed since Stephen's previous visit, and we were treated to some beautiful sites. We timed it perfectly, just before the heavens opened, we were belted in the car, ready for our onward journey.

The Mae Fa Luang gardens

Orchids

The next leg of the journey took us along a road, which basically acts as a border between Burma (Myanmar) and Thailand. This was slightly un-nerving, not only for it's very winding roads, but also because it is a very sensitive area, and we were stopped and checked (as well as videoed - we are famous!) 3 times, by armed guards, during the 20km ride.

Burma to the left, Thailand to the right. Andyb illegally stepped into Burma territory as he did the "hokey cokey"over the barrier, which is technically the Burmese border line.

The Bruntons at the border whilst the guards checked Stephen's passport.

We then moved on to Mae Sai, which is the "Northern most of Thailand" according to the sign. They mean, of course, the northern most point of Thailand, but they have put up a new sign and they've missed the point, if you catch our drift.

Because it was a long day, and a long drive, Andyb gallantly (and bravely - remember those Thai's don't do driving tests) offered to drive home. All was going swimmingly until darkness fell. Andyb felt like he was in the middle of a computer game, dodging the traps set (such as dogs in the middle of the road, unlit motor cycles, tractors, cars, people). He managed to get to the top level, acquiring bonus points, as he avoided all obstacles thrown at him, and pulled safely into Ban Kat Thi. This was lucky, given that in Thailand, the law states that the biggest vehicle is ALWAYS at fault when involved in an accident.

We gave Stephen & Bua a few days off from being tour operators, and headed to Chiang Mai for a few days (see Elephant Nature Park blog), before they resumed their duties. When we returned, we spent a few days lounging around their lovely home and visited a "floating temple".

Before the locals built a damn to flood the area that is now Kwan Phayao, an ancient temple existed in the middle of the swamp land. The eventual plan is to drain the water around the temple and excavate the site.

The old temple in the middle of Kwan Phayao.

Stephen & Bua with the Bruntons.

The Buddha

It is a very beautiful setting around Kwan Phayao

Lotus flower or in Thai, Buason (which is Bua's full name)

You see the Thai flag everywhere whilst travelling around these parts, even in the middle of a lake!

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The entrance to Kanchanaburi war cemetery, but sometimes known as Don Rak.

War graves

The Cenotaph

Next stop was at the slightly run down JEATH Museum. The word JEATH is an acronym of the six countries involved in building the railway (Japan, England, Australia/America, Thailand, Holland). Again, we got rushed around, and only managed to see about a third of the museum. It is a tired looking museum, but there was still enough to keep us interested for longer than we got, particularly the newspaper clippings of POW's life stories.

We then got ushered onto a boat, which wasn't included in the price, but promised to show several sites which wouldn't be possible from the road. It's a good job we'd taken in a mental image of the sites before the boat ride (they showed us pictures to tempt us onto the boat), because we didn't really get to see any of them. The driver appeared to be trying to break Campbell's water speed record. The next few minutes whirled by in fast foward, before we were dumped (a little green) by the Bridge on the river Kwai.

River houses on the Kwai - surprisingly this photo isn't blurred!

The Japanese chose the River Kwai basin as the route for the construction of the 415 kilometre Thai-Burmese railtrack. This was needed to connect their recently acquired territories of Singapore and Burma. Work on the railway was commenced in June 1942 and took only 15 months to complete, despite Japanese engineers predicting that it would take 5 years. Kanchanaburi housed the POW camp, for the building of the bridge. It took around 60,000 POWs and 200,000 forced Asian labourers to work on the railway project. They had to remove about 3 million cubic metres of rock and build 9 bridges. The building of the railway took it's toll - more than 25% of the POWs and over 50% of the Asian workers died during it's construction - often due to starvation and disease. This gave it the nickname of "The Death Railway". We gained this knowledge from the Rough Guide (the book, not our tour guide - OUR guide didn't bother to open her mouth, other than to order us into the van).

Bridge over the River Kwai

The Bruntons on the bridge

Given that we had disobeyed our guide and refused to go to the Tiger Temple, she "kindly" suggested that we could instead visit a buddhist temple close by, and they would collect us in an hour. We got dumped at the side of the road, next to this (no offence) very ordinary temple, with no attraction (or toilet), other than to pray. Given that the Bruntons weren't praying, we had no alternative but to sit by the roadside, providing fodder for the mosquito population until the van arrived (15 minutes late).

At various points during the day, we were subjected to a Frenchman and his internet bride (who should have stayed in their hotel room) licking each others faces -mistake number 2 (sitting behind them). It wasn't the most alluring sight. We did meet a nice Canadian couple whose first words were "Hi, we're from Canada, where are you from?" We believe this was to avoid a situation where they could have been mistaken for Americans. They even invited us to their home in Canada and we may shock them by turning up!

On the way back to Bangkok (again at terrifyingly high speed) our driver, like the others, weaved in and out of lanes, quite often failing to stop at red lights. We can only imagine he thought these were for decoration, or illumination, not as an indication that traffic from the left would soon cause a major impact to his van, if he didn't halt. Later, we were told that Thai's don't need to pass a driving test to gain a licence. They can simply buy one for 500 baht (approx 8 English pounds). If they can't afford this, they can go to a test centre, drive for a couple of minutes round a few cones and over a few ramps, and gain a licence for free. So, they don't take any lessons. Certainly if our driver did, they came courtesty of the Stevie Wonder School of Motoring. We've decided to stick to slow trains in future.

The bridge over the river Kwai remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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The next morning, we were woken bright and early (by the nice little man), so we didn't miss our stop. As Butterworth is not all that, we decided to catch the ferry over to spend the morning in Georgetown, Penang, as our onward train to Bangkok didn't leave until 14:30. Georgetown was pleasant enough, but we were disappointed that Khoo Kongsi (a traditional Chinese Clan house) was closed on Sundays (until further notice - just our luck!) We did go to Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion, which was 2nd on the "to do list". This was built by a Cantonese businessman who was quite smart when it came to trading with the British. It was a nice enough renovated house, but best of all was the VERY animated guide who showed us around; she was rather like a headmistress keeping her unruly brats in check.

The second (overnight) train was just as much fun as the first - though on the second day we were several hours late, and they only thought to feed us breakfast. We realised that it was a slow train, when we saw several people sauntering past the carriage window, as we (even more slowly) trundled up the track. Still, we whiled away the hours watching the camp Thai "Frank Spencer lookalikee" waiter, who seemed to take a shine to Andyb. This was because he was in his element, serving Andrew beer (he appeared to love waiting on people - just as well given his choice of career).

We finally arrived in Bangkok, and liked our first impressions. The transport system is fabulous - with the underground and skytrains. We can't imagine what it would have been like trying to travel around Bangkok before they arrived. We heard the underground had only been open around 12 months. We spent many an hour, travelling too and from the dentist (in Siam Square) on the Skytrain. We don't usually have a masochistic streak, but dental work here is much cheaper (and just as good) as England.

We did have time to fit in the Grand Palace (amongst the tooth extraction/filling commitments). This is classed as the holiest site in the country. It also houses the Emerald Buddah - which is surprisingly small - but is the most sacred buddah image in the country. He was dressed in his rainy season costume when we saw him (his others being cool season and hot season costumes). Some of the complex, which dates back to 1785, was closed due to the King's sister lying in state (she's been there for nearly a year now, so it's almost time for her funeral). The Thai's seem to hold a genuine affection for the Royal family, particularly for the King. Some even wear yellow (the King's colour) on a Monday (the day of his birth). They also stand up in the cinema, to show respect for the monarchy, when footage of the king's life is shown; this happens just before the main feature film starts. We can't imagine the British standing up for Lizzie.

Grand Palace

Guardians watching over the Grand Palace

Another guardian

We spent an afternoon on happy pant road (or Khao San Road as it's formally known). This was FULL of backpackers (of the clown pant and tooth pick in beard variety). We had quite a jolly time having a few beers and watching the sites from a roadside bar. It is a backpackers haven, full of hostels, and although we enjoyed it for a few hours, we were very glad we were staying in the quieter district of Sukhumvit.

Happy Pant Road

Overall, we didn't do that much in Bangkok (though we stayed for a week). However, we found that even though it's a busy place, it's not too hectic, and it's a great place to sort out your teeth and Chinese visa!

The slow train to Bangkok remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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These are the deadly (to ants) pitcher plants. Inside, they contain a lethal (yet attractive to insects) acid. The poor insects hop in, then get eaten alive as they slowly dissolve in the liquid. They grow in dense forest, usually where there are fallen leaves.

Mangrove forest

Baco is probably one of the best places in Sarawak to experience wildlife, which is why we decided to spend three days here. It is home to some rather scary animals (such as snakes and the unruly macaque monkeys, not forgetting the carnivorous plants!), but also some lovely ones (such as the proboscis monkeys and comical crabs).


This is the sight that greeted us at Bako national park. It is a Bornean bearded pig. We saw 5 of these trotting in and out of the vegetation.

Having had previous experience of the macaque monkeys we knew about their stealing habits. But on arrival we were forewarned that the ones in the park are particularly bold and are constantly on the rob, so we should lock all doors, windows and ensure all food is locked away. However, we weren't prepared for the day that one scally macaque did a smash 'n' grab of Andrew's foodplate at the restaurant and nicked his fish. The cheek of it!

And they look so innocent and cute....

The snakes in the park, although potentially dangerous (though not lethal to humans) were very docile. During the 3 days we were there, they didn't change position. Could they have been plastic?

These are both types of wagler's pit viper. We also saw a whip snake a couple of times, but in true whip snake style, they were too quick to photograph, or to even say "there goes a whip sn.." before it's buggered off.

We found the hermit crabs very funny, with their borrowed shells. They're all roaming the beach (when the tide is out) in some really odd outfits.

Cocky crab - "come down here and say that"! (were sure it was saying that to us). We think this is some type of fiddler crab. It just has one huge pincer - they were all like this - it's not a disabled one.

We were quite fascinated by the mudskippers, which leap about the shoreline and are very quick (though wouldn't win a race with a whip snake)

Other than the (frankly annoying) macaques, there are some nice monkeys to be found within Baco. One type is the silver leaf monkeys (or silvered langurs) which are quite shy, sleepy and spend most of their day sitting up a tree doing not very much.

Silver leaf monkey

We were really pleased to get to see the proboscis monkeys in their natural habitat. They were quite high up in the canopy, and we could see them clearly leaping from tree to tree. These monkeys are endemic to Borneo and are considered an endangered species. They are mostly arboreal, and spend their time eating young shoots, leaves and sour fruits (they are unable to eat sweet fruits as this causes gas in their stomach and they are in danger of exploding!) One lucky male has a harem of around 12 females. He differs from the female physically; not only is he larger and has a pot pelly, he's also the one with the funny looking, huge pendulous nose (the bigger the better to attract all those females into his harem).

Proboscis monkey

Different view of the same proboscis monkey

If it wasn't for the mosquitoes, we could have tried a nocturnal walk, where we could have spied such delights as a slow loris, western tarsier, mouse deer, flying lemur, pangolin, palm civet and different kinds of bats. But we'd already been eaten alive in the daytime, so we'll watch these from the comfort of our settee, on the telly, with David Attenborough for company (the BBC have been into the Baco national park several times to film).

Bako at sunset.

Bako National Park remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Black pepper drying out in the Malay sunshine

We then changed van for longboat and had an agreeable half hour moseying up the river to our "home" for 2 nights. Lisab (being an unsociable type) was a little wary of spending so long in the company of people with whom she couldn't readily communicate - though we both were interested in seeing how the Ibans really live - and felt this couldn't be achieved by a one day tour. We had booked our tour with Borneo Adventures, which had promised an "authentic" stay in a longhouse; this would include being the only tourist guests in the longhouse at the time of our visit.

The longhouse that was our home for 2 nights

As we arrived, we were greeted by the chief and his wife, and given a drink of rice wine. We were then left by our guide to "mingle" with the members of the longhouse. This particular longhouse is inhabited by 34 families, and although they have their own spaces (to cook, sleep & sometimes watch satellite telly!), people are often found relaxing or (if they are older women) working on their handicrafts, on the communal ruai - a roofed verandah. This runs the length of the longhouse. It was a little awkward at first - they often spoke minimal English; we only know the word for toilet (tandas) and closed (tutup) in Malay - so there was alot of nodding and smiling going on. Added to this, the Ibans were at the end of celebrating the harvest festival, which had started on the 31t May. Some of the (younger) male members of the community were a little piddled by our 4pm arrival. But most seemed genuinely interested in our visit and families would often invite us into their house for a glass of rice wine or rice whiskey (Lisa often fancied a cup of tea, but was given short shrift if she mumured the t-word).

The communal ruai

The boys (who weren't drunk) playing Iban football

Later on in the evening, we were given a formal welcome by the chief, and a welcome dance was performed by two younger Ibans. Part of the welcome involved ritual humilation of the Bruntons as we were invited to take to the dance floor and attempt to copy their dance moves. This was when Lisa cursed herself for refusing the rice wine earlier in the day. We then presented our gifts to the longhouse (pencils and colouring books for the kids).

Unfortuately no coverage of the Brunton's dancing, but here is the male part of the welcome dance.

After the dancing... You'd think the Bruntons would be embarrassed by the silly hats and sillier grins on their faces. But they are far more red faced because of the state of their shirts - bought in a hurry - to keep out the mozzies.

The older Iban community make their living from working on the oil palm planations, rubber planations and making handicrafts to sell to visiting tourists. The optimum time for collecting the rubber sap is around 4am, so they have to get up early in this job. The sap is collected by scoring the tree and letting the sap drip into the pots. The sap is collected from dozens of trees, mixed with a chemical, then poured into a tray and left to dry for a full day. It is then rolled through a mangle to produce a thiner sheet of latex which is aproximately 1.5m by 0.5m and sold for a few English pounds. A number of people work to collect the rubber, yet they are only able to produce one sheet of latex per day.

A rubber tree that has been tapped to drain the sap

The Ibans are one of three different tribes in Borneo that used to practice the custom of head hunting. Thankfully the practice is now ceased (at least in Malaysian Borneo - our guide told us the practice still occurs in tribes in Indonesian Borneo - though he could have been kidding us). There were 3 reasons why the Iban tribe collected skulls - to gain land, to gain pride, or to gain a fair maiden's hand in marriage. When the community grew too large for their land to supply them with enough forest to hunt and collect food, they would politely ask a neighbouring tribe for extra land. If the request was refused, they would then attack the village at dawn, after a full night of rituals. The land seekers would cut off all the heads of the males within the attacked village. They would celebrate their success in another ritual, whereby each warrior would mix together the brains and blood of the particular men they'd killed with rice wine and drink the mixture. This was thought to give the warriors increased power, as they took the strength and soul of the dead warrior. The women from the village would become slaves for a period of 2 and a half years (being made to cook, clean etc) before being integrated into the community. The more heads a warrior gained, the more pride and esteem he could command within his community. Successful warriors were deemed to be powerful and were therefore respected by their tribe and others. When a warrior wanted a wife, he would visit a longhouse and peruse the women - to see if anyone took his fancy. He would woo his chosen one with a short courtship, before suggesting marriage. The woman would accept marriage ONLY if she fancied him, AND on the proviso that he bring her the head of the most respected warrior he could kill. Often, one woman could be courting several eager warriors, and the first one back with the best head won! Lisab says "what's wrong with a diamond ring?"

Primary school for the young Ibans is about a 40 minute boat ride away, but for the secondary school kids, they leave the longhouse and board at a hostel for a few weeks to go to school near Kuching. We spoke to one family where 2 daughters were visiting for the festival - they were married and now lived in Kuching and KL. It seems that the younger Ibans are getting a taste of different cultures and are moving out of the longhouse tradition. Because it was festival time a number of families were visiting, so it was hard to get a true sense of how many younger Ibans are staying at the longhouse full time.

The second day was spent in the jungle. We first had a walk through the forest; all the while our guides were picking fruits from the trees (such as limes, mangosteens and chillies) to let us try them. It also involved trudging through the river, up to our knees in water. We then stopped for them to make us a delicious bamboo lunch. This involved them hacking down bits of trees to make a barbeque and to get fire wood, cutting bamboo to provide makeshift cooking utensils, and cutting fresh banana leaves to cook the rice in etc. It was great watching their survival skills in action; we felt like we were living through an episode of Ray Mears.

One of our guides for the day made us these sticks after Andyb fell down an embankment and Lisab slipped onto her arse on the path. And we were the ones wearing proper hiking boots....

Preparing our gormet lunch

When Andyb's chicken went on the bbq

This video shows the man using a kris to cut the bamboo

The dogs at the long house

The last day, after breakfast and before we said farewell, we were treated to a blow pipe demonstration. They were also going to throw in a cock fight for free but the vegetarian declined the invitation. The blow pipe was a weapon that they used to kill animals and other warriors - they would dip the dart in poison (from a tree) shooting it into their prey. Muchas fun was had by both Bruntons attempting to hit the target (competitive wife was on top form).

Blow pipe demonstration

Both of us thought the longhouse trip was interesting rather than enjoyable. Our guide had purposely left us on our own to engage with the longhouse inhabitants (or at least that's how he justified his long disappearances), which was ok to an extent, but there's only so much nodding and smiling we could do. When he was there and interpreting for us, it was much more interesting - particularly when a couple were asking for his help (the man's ex-wife had put a black magic curse on his new wife - they were clearly terrified at the potential consequences of it). But we certainly felt that we'd got an insight into how the Iban's live in the 21st Century.

The Iban tribe remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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A picture of the big man. Ritchie now weighs a humungous 110kgs (2 Lisab's). He is now around 18 years old, and has obvious flanges (cheek pads). These start to grow when the male orang-utan reaches about 10-15 years, but only if there are no other dominant males around. Apparently, the bigger the cheeks, the more success he'll have with the ladies, as females are attracted to big 'uns. For their size, orang-utans are strong. It is said that (fully grown) male orang-utans have the strength of six men. We don't know how this "fact" was arrived at. We don't know if there was a fight between six Malay men and one orang-utan (because Malay men are quite small on the whole and this could skew the figures).

Mum and her "baby" which we think is about 2 years old. The infants stay with their mum until they are about 5 years, when mum chucks them out of the nest to breed again - aww.

Learning the ropes.

These are a few videos of the orang-utans showing off their tree climbing and swinging skills!

We had really enjoyed seeing the orang-utans at the Singapore zoo - but we much preferred seeing them here in their more natural environment. Because the orang-utans have a large area to roam, it felt special to see them arrive for a spot of fruit; not all of them turn up at feeding time. We were also very glad that we didn't listen to the man at the National Sarawak Museum who told us that we shouldn't bother to visit the orang-utans that afternoon because it was going to thunder and they don't like thunder, so they hide, and we wouldn't see them. We should instead join him and two other American tourists for a visit to another wild life sanctuary where for a bargain 160 ringitts (27 pounds) we were guaranteed to see a few animals (including orang-utans) in cages. Needless to say, it didn't thunder and we saw lots!

Semenggoh Nature Reserve remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Eight days were spent lazing around the beach, reading books, eating, and snorkelling. We were glad that we'd visited the Barrier Reef first, because we were both REALLY impressed by it; it was the first snorkelling we'd done in the tropics. However, we reckon the snorkelling at Tioman beat the Reef, for corals (it was much brighter and more colourful here), variety of fish, and numbers of fish. We didn't get to wear those fetching lycra suits though, and both Lisab & Andyb burnt their bums (well, the bit that the swim wear doesn't cover), despite being lathered in 30+ factor suncream. We also didn't have an underwater camera. But amongst the fish we spied was a really big flat one (don't know it's latin name), a Ray of some sort, clown fishes(only know these cause of "Finding Nemo"), some other big fishes, and some other little fishes. We also saw loads of clams, a big turtle and these really weird, almost luminous corals, which really impressed Lisab.

Andyb enjoying a beer at (nearly) sunset

Our home for a few days. (the highest chalet)

The view from our digs, at Bamboo Hill. This place looked idyllic, and was, except for each time we opened the door, things would scatter, under the bed and up the walls. For example, Lisa saw a mouse one day jumping out of the bin (it was empty) and behind the bed headboard. Funnily enough, we moved on after a couple of days...

This is a macaque monkey with her baby. Each morning around 6am, we would hear the pitter patter of monkey feet on the roof of our villa. They used our roof as a spring board to get to the trees. The trees contained some kind of fruit, that they would eat at various points during the day.

Sunset at Salang

Air Batang

We took a stroll through the rain forest one day to get to "Monkey Bay" (the clue should have been in the name). We'd taken lunch, snacky things, but left them (underneath the towels and books) in a zipped up backpack, whilst we went to snorkel. Just as we were walking out of the sea, Andyb was struck by a thought - "I hope those monkeys haven't nicked the bag". Well, as luck would have it, they didn't, but they had (or should we say he) riffled through all our possesions, and niftily (we thought, cause nothing was out of place) helped himself to our food. We found him up a tree, eating our bag of crisps. Andyb called him a "little monkey", Lisab called him something more choice (we all know Lisa don't share food). At least he wasn't wearing our t-shirt or watch, whilst taking photo's of us below. The monkey had also kindly left us all the rubbish and crumbs by Andyb's t-shirt, so at least we didn't add to the litter problem (as well as encouraging a junk food habit amongst Macaques). It's the last time we'll snorkel before lunch.

Monkey Bay

Video of macaque monkey eating stolen fodder - this lasts about a minute

Video of macaque monkey eating stolen fodder - short version

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We left the airport and entered the steam room that is Singapore. First port of call (after we'd dumped the bags) was to get something to eat. We went to a hawker stall, near Little India. Unfortunately, Lisab didn't (and still doesn't) speak Chinese, and so settled for fruit and crushed ice (she reckoned they wouldn't put meat in that), whilst Andyb had a lovely seafood noodle soup. Over cautiously the next day, Lisab settled for vegetable noodle soup (at a vegetarian food stall). Andyb opted for the fish head soup. Turned out, it was tofu fish head. Lisab was well jealous.

Singapore is great if you want to shop - but we'd had enough of that after the first half hour. We did go to M&S though (just for the novelty and to buy Andyb some shirts so he wouldn't get bitten by the mozzies in the jungle). So, we spent our time people watching and eating at the various food outlets in the shopping malls.

We also did what most people feel they HAVE to do in Singapore; go to Raffles and have a Singapore Sling. We opted to go into the Long Bar (cause we'd heard you could throw peanut shells on the floor). Andyb was incensed that he had to pay a service charge to the waitress who curled her lip every time she looked in his direction. We think this was because when she came to take our order, we couldn't be persuaded to take the "special cocktail of the week" for which she must receive commission. Obviously thought, "bloody tourists, will have one drink, chuck loads of nuts on the floor, then bugger off", and of course, that's exactly what we did do. The added service charge was nothing compared to the shock (A&E needed to be put on red alert) when he received the bill for 2 slings (22 english pounds). Lisab suggested that the glass (engraved with Raffles, Singapore Sling) must surely be included in the price.

Is this the place that serves the most expensive drink in the world?

Another day was spent at the zoo. We absolutely loved it here, and it seems a very well run place. The best space is given to the Orang-utans, which have their own adventure playground in the sky. There are loads of ropes and trees for them to swing around on. "Token feeding" happens a couple of times a day, when they come down to the ground and are fed apples etc. We also went into the "rain forest" area, and got REALLY excited because they promised tree kangaroos. It's only quite a small area (certainly smaller than the big forests we'd tried to see them in, in Australia). We saw every animal that was advertised in that rainforest, but as sod's law would have it, we didn't spy the tree kangaroos. We can only imagine they've been putting the word out amongst each other, to avoid the Bruntons.

baby orang-utan

I'm having a FAG Waynetta

Meercat on sentinal duty

We left Singapore (thanks to Jetstar) on a train bound for Melaka, Malaysia. Interestingly, the train station is actually owned by Malaysia.

Singapore train station

The train was 2 hours late setting off (thanks to Jetstar) and we were delayed on the tracks for another 1 hour (thanks to Jetstar). We arrived 38kms away from the city (thanks to Jetstar) because there is no train station in Melaka - there is a perfectly good bus station, but you can't book buses on line (thanks to Jetstar). We therefore arrived at 1 o'clock in the morning, instead of 9 o'clock in the evening - thanks to Jetstar. A stongly worded letter is winging it's way by post (because Jetstar don't have an internet facility to send complaints - even though tickets are booked on line) to those lovely people in Jetstar's customer relationship services (we've decided to divorce them).

Notes on Singapore: We'd heard that you could get fined for jay walking (not true, we saw loads of people do it & nobody got carted off) and that it was the cleanest city on earth (not true, we saw loads of bins and places overflowing with rubbish). We were quite put out by this - for months whenever Lisab dared to cross before the green man lit up, Andyb would say "you can't do that when you get to Singapore, or they'll put you in jail". Lisab stopped Andyb from taking a photo of a particularly rubbishy street, or we would have photographic proof.

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Again, in Sydney, we mainly watched the world go by, and no day passed without making our way through the botanical gardens which are fabulous. Really interesting trees, ferns and loads of bird life. The most amazing things in the gardens are the flying foxes, or fruit bats, which by day, hang from the trees, and although they are nocturnal, they are really loud in the daytime. They squabble for space with one another ("you've got more branch than me") and don't seem to settle until later on in the day. It's like their having some sort of all night rave. The park has been over run by them in the past - it acts as a really good food source. They have taken measures to control the numbers, but we still saw hundreds of them.

Flying Foxes

A lone Fruit Bat

A Sulphur Crested Cockatoo - these are squawky little bleeders too

A Rainbow Lorikeet - a rare moment when Lisab was allowed the camera

Sydney harbour

Sydney Opera House

Andrew also found out what must feel like to be stung by a box jelly fish when we went to Manley beach. This wasn't due to actually being silly enough to go into the sea, but ordering 2 lovely looking take away vegetable pasties that we'd decided to eat for tea. He suggested the pain of forking out $10 each for a pasty could be likened to that of a sting, and almost caused the same deadly reaction.

Sydney remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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On the plane ride over from Sydney to Cairns, we had the spontaneous idea (we are such adventurists) of renting a camper van for a few days to have a look around the outback and tropical bits of Queensland. This had the added advantage of not having to spend any time in Cairns (sorry Cairns, we're sure you're lovely, but we couldn't face another city). Our first stop was to "camp" at Innot Hot Springs. We had a very hot dip (the clues in the name) in the pools and a very pleasant night. The next day we were set to go fossicking. Unfortunately, it was 7 kms away to the nearest site to search for topaz, along an unsealed road. Being the conformists we are, we didn't want to chance the camper down an unmarked track, and couldn't be bothered to slog the equipment (water, lots of it, plus shovels and sieves) on our backs, in the heat of the day, so didn't bother. Instead we moved on to the Undarra lava tubes. These are massive underground tunnels which were formed 190,000 years ago, when Undarra volcano errupted. The lava followed the paths of the rivers and gullies. The surface of the lava flow hardened, due to the drop in temperature at the surface. This formed insulated tubes, in which the lava continued to flow in a liquid state until the lava eventually drained out. The tubes were found because over the years, hot gases and earthquakes blew holes in the tube ceilings, which caused a collapse and so created a way into the tubes. We took a half day tour and had an expert guide called Tim to show us around. We were lucky to be joined by only 2 other people (a nice couple from the Sunshine Coast) and so got lots of time to chat to Tim, and also were lucky to explore parts others people don't explore.

Turmite mounds. There is hundreds of them on the way to the lava tubes.

The Bruntons are put on special alert not to run over any amazing wildlife that Australia has to offer.

Undarra lava tubes.

Onward to Yungaburra, where were went in search of the elusive tree kangaroos. We spent 2 days looking for the blighters and the closest we got, was to see a stuffed one in the visitors centre; they had it taxidermied when it got run over (it was dead at the time).

Trying to spot tree kangaroos in this dense rainforest became futile for the Bruntons. Although several of the locals had seen them the day before.

We had more success when we went to spot the crocodiles on the banks of the Daintree river, with the "Bruce Belcher Tours". It must be a quiet time of year, because this time we found ourselves the only ones on the 1:30pm tour and had the big boat to ourselves. We got more of an adventure than we bargained for when Kerry the driver got us "stuck" for a few seconds on a sand bank. First his face was a picture, as he muttered "geez, please not today, not in the water today" and looked in need of a brown bag to breathe into, then Lisab's face was a picture (so say's Andyb) when she realised how panicked the driver was. Lisa had already planned an escape route onto the roof of the boat, and would refuse to come down until rescued by a helicopter. Thankfully, he managed to pull us off the sandbank as quickly as he got us stuck, though we wondered if we would have been so lucky if we had been a boat full of (well fed) tourists. We were quite glad to make it back on to dry land.

We were lucky though to spot Albert sunning himself on the banks of the Daintree river, a local called him a fattie but we think he was obese. The photo's don't do justice to how huge he is; we thought he didn't look capable of moving, though we were assured he could catch his prey VERY quickly - despite being an old man of 70 (sorry David!). We didn't fancy testing him to find out.

A close up of Alberts teeth. We were assured by our guide that the red you see on his teeth was in fact rust and not blood.

We also went in hunt of the amethstine python at Lake Eacham. Walking round the lake, which is surrounded by rain forrest, we saw all sorts of birds, including the (two a penny) brush turkey, and some amazing trees. A pair of English guys then told us that they had spotted a python sunning itself on a fallen tree, about 50 metres away. They were either kidding, or had scared it away, cause we didn't see it, and we would have; it reaches a size of about 6 metres, being the largest snake in Australia - not surprising given that it can down a kangaroo as a light lunch. Then, making our way back to the campsite; tired from a day of spotting everything we weren't looking for and spotting nothing we were, didn't we see an amethystine python?! It was certainly an adult, as it stretched almost to the other side of the road, and was at least 5 metres long (with a large girth). It was crossing a relatively small road, with 20km speed bumps all along it. Andyb was driving, and we stopped to watch and let it pass, putting on the hazard lights to warn others we had stopped. Something terrible then happened, as some stupid or callous person in a car ignored Andrew's warnings (hanging out of the window, flagging car down) and ran over the snake. It appeared dazed for a few seconds, and then sloped off to the bush where it had come from. Although it moved, we think that it probably died later. Unfortunately, road kill is an all too common site in both New Zealand and Australia. We were initally REALLY excited to see a python, but would obviously have far preferred not to see one and for it to still be alive.

A little bit of Queensland remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Typical view when one stuck his/her head under the water.

A Reef Shark that swam past us a couple of times, although deemed 'not dangerous' it could quite possibly give you a nasty nibble.

The Shark went that way! (though she's more concerned with whether her bum looked big in this....)

Given we are not marine biologists (and are too lazy to look them up on the internet), most photos will either say yellow fish or black&white fish, even after studying a wall chart on the boat we have failed to remember any of their names. These are little blue fish near some sort of coral.

A fish with a yellow fin.

A giant clam. Kenny would be impressed!

A spotty fish.

A thin yellow fish thats got a trumpet for a nose.

Andyb trying his best to look like Jacques Cousteau in his fetching lycra suit.

Some stripey fish.

A yellow fish with black&white stripes.

We think it's a Parrot fish or it could be some sort of wrasse with a yellowish friend.

Giant sea turtle.

Incidentally, we chose (yes, it was a conscious decision) to look like overgrown babies and wear the lycra suits, not because we have a new fettish (though Andyb seemed rather attached to his by the end of the day) but because there are box jelly fish lurking in the waters. To be fair, jelly fish season is over, BUT Lisab did spy an invisible jelly (it was virtually see through)in the water. She had no idea what type it was, but moved away from it quick smart, and was highly pleased with her hire.

The Great Barrier Reef remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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The botantical gardens were very pleasant, even at Autumn time. We were amused to find that the oldest (claimed) house in Australia is situated in the (Fitzroy) gardens. Unfortunately, in order to qualify, it had to be shipped all the way from Yorkshire in England, brick by brick! The house was the former residence of Captain James Cook's parents (dating from 1755 and brought to Oz in 1934 to celebrate Victoria's centenery), and is a typically sweet yorkshire cottage but looks a bit odd to be plonked down in it's "new" Australian surroundings.

Captain Cook's parents house.

No trip to Melbourne is complete without a visit to an Aussie Rules game (so says our friend Ryan who arranged for his dad to get us tickets AND accompany us to the match). We met Glenn (Ryan's dad) to watch Essendon (Ryan's team and Melbourne side) unfortunately get thrashed by Port Adelaide (94-158). It's a really fast game to watch, and very physical. We didn't really have a clue about the rules, and would suggest the accompaniment of a Glenn to set you straight; without his explanations, we would have been lost. Lisa also wishes to thank him for providing seats so close to the action that she couldn't help but notice the size of the thighs on the young players. Aussies appear to be very good at sports, but also excel in sledging. We witnessed a Port Adelaide fan wind up an Essendon fan and concluded that the Port Adelaide fan would have been going home in a St. John's ambulance, had he tried similar antics in England. Incidentally, all the fans (home and away) sit together at matches, relatively good naturedly, which makes a refreshing change.

Keeping up the sporting theme (you can't get away from it in Melbourne!) we took a guided tour around the MCG. A very nice older chap in a very smart stripey blazer took us round. The tour included a behind the scenes sneek into the changing rooms (they smelt) and the post match interview rooms etc, as well as a walk near the sacred turf. Currently the pitch is set out for the Aussie Rules season, and the square has been dug up and moved until cricket season starts again. Later we looked around the sports museum, which has a brilliant cricket section, full of tales of the Ashes, etc. Even Lisab wasn't bored (although she was a bit irked that Andyb didn't let her win on the interactive cycle race, OR the goal shots game, OR the cricket wicket game - competitive husband was on great form).

MCG (well half of it)

After perusing the city for a few days, we decided to take a trip out into the Yarra Valley, to have a look at some wildlife, at the Healsville Sanctuary. We got ourselves a public transport pass and had a lovely ride out on the train, and then the bus. They don't half pack 'em in on the trams at [c]rush hour though, on our way home. The sanctuary contains a hospital, and we were lucky (though the bird wasn't) to see a Kookaburra being operated on; it had been shot in the wing and they were mending it (in medical terms). We also got to feed the red kangaroos from Tasmania and listened to a talk on the Koalas. Some of the animals have arrived at the park because they are injured and no longer able to survive in the wild. We were suitably impressed (as usual) by the exoticism of the animals and birds on display. Lisab also got to see her favourite animal in the world, the Platypus. Although they are nocturnal, they have this fabulous really huge glass panelled tank which displays the little platypus in their environment. 2 babies were born in February 2008 and we think it may have been these that we saw in the tanks, their parents were having a (well earned) sleep in their burrows.

Eastern Grey Kangaroo and it's Joey

Koala

The Bruntons have taken to saying "stone the crows, you great galah" at every opportunity, in keeping with Aussie speech, and therefore feel that we are integrating well into the Aussie culture.

Marvellous Melbourne remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Left side

Right side

To enter, simply study the 2 photo's to "spot the diffhairence" and send your answer in the form of a blog message, with the title "I wish I'd gone to Tony & Guys" by 5pm on the 22nd May 2008. Correct answers will be put into a hat and one (questionably) lucky winner will win a free do FROM THE SAME SALON frequented by Andyb! Terms and conditions apply, see below:

Terms & Conditions

1. The winner will receive one Aus$15 voucher, to be used ONLY at the salon where Andyb's hair was cut. This entitles the winner to receive a free "flat top". Alternatively the winner can part exchange the voucher for a "crew cut" (Aus$20) or upgrade further to the Andyb experience, a "scissor cut" (price Aus$25).
2. The competition promoter cannot guarantee the same hair stylist; in the event of another stylist, the promoter guarantees a cut of similar or worse quality.
3. In relation to point (2), the winner uses the voucher at his/her own risk. A dislaimer will need to be signed prior to receiving the voucher, waiving all promoter responsibility. Ultimate responsibilty for hair state, post-cut, lies with the competition winner.
4. The prize does not include transport costs to/from Sydney. The winner must find their own way to Sydney.
5. The competition is subject to Andyb being able to remove the hat (needed to select a winner) from his head by the 22nd May 2008 AND is subject to Andyb remembering the name of the salon in Sydney. Hence, promoters may relinquish the prize, and/or terminate the competition at any time, without prior or post notice to competition entrants.
6. The promoters reserve the right to use entrants' profiles for future promotional advertisements

Spot the Diff-HAIR-ence competition remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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The ferry (that dropped us off) at Picton Harbour.

We made Nelson our base for a week, and rented a lovely little cottage, minus all the faux leopard print accessories (sadly, for Andyb had become quite attached).
Our cottage at Glenduan, near Nelson.

Glenduan Beach, 2 mins from the cottage

Sunset at Glenduan beach

Reflection at Glenduan beach

The closest beach to go for a dip was just past the centre of Nelson. We took the kids (with their buckets and spades) for a couple of days of fun in the sun. Kenny collected some specimens from the sea and ate them for tea (Andyb politely declined) and Mags spat them out as they tasted mouldy. Kenny ate them, and was fine (after 2 days in intensive care).

Lisa & Andyb's footprints, after a dip in the sea at Tahunanui Beach, near Nelson

We all spent a day in Abel Tasman National Park - one of the most scenic places we have seen in the whole of NZ. Mags & Kenny chose to while away the day on a water taxi, exploring the coves and wildlife of the park, whilst the misers chose a one way fare, and a 6 hour, 22 km walk back to the beginning of the park. Because it was Autumn, the place was less crowded, and we even managed to have a beach to ourselves whilst we went for a dip in the sea.

Lisa & Andyb's beach

Split Apple Rock, Abel Tasman

The West Coast
We had to endure the eyesore that is the west coast, in order to get to Franz Josef. The 3 of us had to view this for endless hours from the car window. Kenny was spared the sight as he mostly read his book!

The west coast, around Paparoa National Park

Franz Josef Glacier
The Bruntons are becoming rather partial to glaciers! At Franz Josef, we were also lucky not to need a guide to get up close. Whilst you thought glaciers were formed due to metres of snowfall compacting to make ice that accumulates to such an extent that it flows downhill under it's own weight, THIS glacier was actually formed from the tears of Hinehukatere. She loved the mountains, and enticed her lover, Tawe to join her on them. He tried, but sadly fell to his death. She cried (probably due to guilt) so much her tears formed the glaciers. The Maori call them "Ka Riomata o Hinehukatere" or "the tears of the avalanche girl". A much more satisfying explanation than all that boring scientific stuff. We hope she receives a cut of the profits the locals make from the glacier; which is alot judging by all the helicopter flights and guided walks we witnessed!

Lisa at Franz Josef glacier

Franz Josef glacier

Lisa and a rainbow near Franz Josef glacier

Mount Cook
Next stop was Mount Cook. This is quite an isolated place, but VERY busy! We couldn't even find accommodation for all of us in the same place. The weather held up and we had a fine walk up the red tarns track, which offered great views of the glacial U shaped valley below, as well as towering Mount Cook.

Lake Paringa, just a toilet stop on our way to Mount Cook, we might have stayed longer to eat lunch, but instead we became lunch for a posse of sandflies and thus, we had to make a quick exit.

Mount Cook U shaped valley

....and Mount Cook in the distance

Akaroa on Banks Peninsula
We dropped the kids off in Christchurch for their last few days before buggering off to Singapore. We wanted to go and see the hector dolphins at Akaroa. These are the one of the rarest, and the smallest dolphins in the world. They are very cute. Andyb attempted to swim with them (Lisab expertly captured the moment when the dolphins swam near, blink and you miss it!) Although the swim wasn't overly successful (most days the dolphins will hang around for a while with the humans) we saw about 50 of them following a fishing trawler, catching an easy breakfast, as they eat all the smaller fish that escape the nets. It was a great sight, Lisab wasn't expert enough to capture the moment - and footage is all a bit of a blur. Hence, David Attenborough hasn't made the call (yet).

After a night in Christchurch to say a sad farewell to Mags & Kenny (we had enjoyed their company for 4 weeks) we set off for Oamaru to see some penguins. It was weird to have no snoring in the back of the car, and the Nissan Bluebird fell silently empty without them (our luggage was also rolling around in the boot - minus Mag's twenty odd pairs of shoes that she had packed for EVERY eventuality - all those shoes, yet one day she managed to climb out of the car in her slippers - having forgotten to change them when she went out). In the early evening, the yellow eyed penguins make their way back to shore, after a day's fishing. We got some good views of them returning home, and saw a few pairs in their (love) nests. Later on in the evening, we went to see the little blue penguins come home to their burrows, after it goes dark. The centre offers a grandstand for viewing, with special sodium lights that allow us to see the penguins, but the penguins still believe it is dark, as they can't visualise orange or red colours. It was good to see them waddle ashore in rafts of about 15. Some even waited behind for their friends to return before setting off together up the path to their dens. We have no photo's of little blues, as photograhpy wasn't allowed (sudden sounds scare them).

Yellow eyed penguin

Two yellow eyed penguins

Otago Peninsula

Moreaki Boulders where Lisab made Andyb get up at 6:30 and drive 45mins to take this photo

We stopped off on the Otago peninsula, mainly to view the Royal Albatrosses. This is the only mainland nesting site (of any albatross) in the world. We were very lucky to see 3 chicks, and 2 adult birds making a fly past the hide, (where we were situated), showing off their 3 metre wingspan at close quarters.

Taiaroa head at sunset

Royal Albatross chick weighing in at 6.1kg and only 3 months old!

Wildlife around every corner in NZ.

Milford Sound

Andrew dragged Lisa (kicking and screaming) to the dump that is Milford Sounds. Think somebody taking you to see Haslingden rubbish tip (hee hee). We were in awe at the sights as we cruised the fjords. Andrew wasn't in awe of the pesky sandflies that bit him, and Lisa wasn't in awe at the biting wind that cut through her clothes (which included windproof soft shell, gloves, hat and pashmina scarf!) We have been travelling for over 6 months, taking many a photo, and have just realised that our camera has the facility to take black and white pictures - so we took advantage. Expect many more.

On the Milford road, we took time out from driving towards Queenstown, to walk a short part of the Routeburn track to Key Summit. Lisa moaned all the way up, cause she wasn't really in the mood for a walk, and Andyb hadn't even brought her any pic n mix. She was pacified by the splendid views at the top though.

View from the top of Key Summit after a relatively easy (so says Andyb) 45mins walk

Queenstown
Queenstown is the "adrenaline capital of the world" apparently, but we had a quiet time, walking and enjoying the autumnal colours. We think we have travelled NZ at a great time - we've had fantastic weather, enjoyed quieter places, and the trees are spectacular at this time of year.

Glenorchy (LOTR territory)

Just to prove, it's not always blue sky in NZ

(Yet) another B/W photo, this time of the church of the good shepherd at Lake Tekapo

Although we weren't brave or cash loaded enough to try out the adventure sports on offer, there were some young fools that gave them a whirl. We went to watch some of them at Kawarau Bridge (the home of the original bungy jump in 1988) get a dunking. You have to tilt your head to watch, as we can't work out how to rotate the video.

The South Island remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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As we eagerly awaited the arrival of Mags & Kenny, we took a couple of days to explore the beaches and islands, close to the city. Piha & Karekare are two of the most beautiful, remote, and unpopulated beaches that we have had the fortune of visiting. The latter was the location for the film, "The Piano". Having a hire car was already proving a big bonus! We took a ferry to the Island of Tiritiri Matangi which is an open sanctuary for endangered birdlife, and saw and heard birds such as the (squawking) Tui, bellbird, fantail, to name a few.

Now with Mags & Kenny in tow, highlights of Auckland included finding a "Tony & Guy" hair franchise, so we could all get a decent haircut (except for Kenny who thought we were bloody puddled for spending forty quid instead of four at the barbers uptown), the sky tower (328 metres high makes it the highest structure in NZ and gives great, panoramic views of the city), and the suburbs (particularly Mount Eden where we stayed, where Andy & Lisab declared they could live - if they could afford it).

Lisab running away from Andyb at Karekare Beach

A reflection of the Sky Tower, Auckland.

Coromandel Peninsula
We spent a few days visiting (yet more) beaches - including the hot water beach - where at certain times of the day (1 1/2 hours either side of low tide) you can hire a spade and dig a hole in the beach,which then fills up with hot spring water that lurks underneath the sand - APPARENTLY - we couldn't be faffed, it was too hot. The kids stayed behind, whilst the Bruntons took a (not very) energetic walk to Cathedral Cove - yet another gorgeous beach - yada, yada, yada.

Mags & Kenny after hearing ANOTHER story about travels in South America.

Napier
We pitched up in Napier in good time to see England whoop the Kiwis at cricket, in the third test, to win the series 2-1. We had perfect cricket weather (hot & sunny), whilst we enjoyed 2 days at the test, listening to the Barmy Army's tunes & were even spotted on t.v. (looking well by all accounts - must be the new hair do's) by Andrew's dad, Stuart. Bet Lynch was good enough to rent out her house for the week (who knew they produced faux leopard print toilet roll?) and we had a jolly time exploring the Art Deco buildings of Napier.

Strauss batting.

Monty.

Strauss again - well he did bat for a full day, eventually reaching 173!

New Zealand acknowledge The Barmy Army.

England crowd the bat with just one wicket needed for victory, even Monty was in the slips which brought a loud cheer from the following England fans.


Our cottage (centre) we rented in Napier.

The Tobacco Factory, Napier.

Art Deco, Napier.

We left the kids with a babysitter whilst we trekked the "best day walk in New Zealand" - The Tongariro crossing (though we would quibble with that judgement - but it was pleasant enough).

Mt Ngauruhoe.

The Emerald Lakes.

The Bruntons at Mount Ngauruhoe whilst on the Tongariro crossing.

The Longest place name in the world (read for yourself), it roughly translates to "the hill where Tamatea, circumnavigator of the lands, played the flute for his brother"

This Sea Lion at Cape Palliser took objection to Lisa's camera skills.

Wellington
Before setting sail for the South Island, we whiled away a few days in the capital. Lisab didn't think it was all that compared to Auckland, and whilst the cities are pleasant enough, there is no beating the beauty of the coastline. The main higlight being the NZ National Museum - Te Papa - worth a visit for an afternoon. The lowlight being the hundreds of very loud NZ school kids that ran, derranged, through the corridors of the YHA at 6am. We are calling for an outright ban of all kids in Youth Hostels.

The North Island remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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Plaza de Armas, Cuzco.

An Inca wall in Cuzco.

Further out from the city is the more impressive "sacred valley" with some of the best preserved inca sites outside of Machu Picchu. We saw the sites of (amongst others) Sacsayhuaman (which appears to be pronouned "sexy woman" - talking about Lisa again), once thought to be a fortress, but now believed to be an astronomical site and royal temple.

The stone to the left of Andrew weighed in at around 130 tonnes!

The Sacred Valley.

Terraces and Inca ruins at Pisac.

Anyone for a bacon butty? Pigs head for sale at Pisac market.

The Brunton's at Pisac.

Why the long face?

The sacred mountain at Ollantaytambo.

Close up of the mountain. Can you make out the face of the mountain god complete with crown?

The Inca Trail
The 4 day trek to Machu Picchu began with an early morning call at 5:45am, to catch the minibus to Km82 at Pisacucho (the beginning of the walk). The first day was a "test day" as we only walked around 4 hours and thought it was easy despite the altitude and the backpacks (we were the hardcore who didn't require an extra porter!) The crew of porters certainly make the trail more comfortable. We went with SAS and they thought of everything; from bowls of hot water to wash with at the end of a day's walk, to waking us up with a cup of coca tea each morning. The food was also something else - 3 courses at dinner AND tea (which was actually too much on the days where you hadn't exerted yourself), plus "happy hour" which entailed cups of chocolate, tea, coffee and popcorn, plus biscuits. It was comparable to the B-Meister's cooking skills (even the veggie food was fabulous). We also happened upon a good bunch of people to walk the trail with - once Lisa had overcome the shock of being the oldest member!

The start of the Inca trail.

The group and the porters.

The second day was slightly harder, walking for around 10 hours in total, and overcoming "dead woman's pass" the most difficult section of the walk. Andyb raced up, whilst Lisab decided on a leisurely stroll to the top!

Lisa on her way up dead woman's pass.

The Brunton's at the top of dead woman's pass.

And everybody else made it too!

Flora on the trail.

Winya-Wayna, one of the Inca sites on the way to Machu Picchu.

Another group shot whilst on the trail.

We were slightly disappointed on the last day to walk through the sun gate and see fog as opposed to Machu Picchu! (well, it is rainy season). However, because we are such fit types, we decided to walk up Waynapichhu (the big mountain you see behind the typical postcard shots of Mahu Picchu) and were chuffed to get great views from there instead.

Machu Picchu

Inca doorway.

Inca window.

Cuzco remains copyright of the author bruntonal, a member of the travel community Travellerspoint.

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